I don't think I'm going to be a fool next year
Current mood: *sigh*
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be a fool. The reason is simple--I suck at it. No, really, I do. Something hit me this Sunday, and as much as it saddened me to realize it, I think it was necessary. When I was walking around with the eyepatch on my eye, being a Foolie pretending to be a pirate, I realized that I made a greater impact and got to more people just by crooking my finger and saying "Arrrrrr!" than I ever did by trying to be Foolish. I realized that my stage fright has kept me from interacting as much as I should, and no matter what I do, I will always have that fright there. What it boils down to is that I made a much better pirate than a foolie, and hell, I think I'd make a much better *anything* than a foolie. Now, this is going to come out very very wrong, but I can think of no other way to put it, so that's how it's going to come out:
I only joined the Fool's guild because they were the only guild that'd take a fifteen-year-old.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the Foolies, I really do. Everyone in there is sweet and fun and friendly and we all really are a great big family, but I've really only been a fool these past few years because every other guild makes the "Oooohhhhh, I *dunno*," face when you say "Hey, I want to be in your guild and I'm under 18!", and even then, when I did that with Megan, it still took a lengthy conversation with my mom for her to finally say "Okay, we'll let you in." And now, after three years of working at being funny, I've been very unsuccessful. I really do love the Fools, I really do, really really, but I just feel like I'm dragging down everyone else who is actually good at what they do and brings some genuine foolish talent to the table. So I'm thinking I won't be a fool next year. Yeah. Go ahead and start hating me now.
Current mood: *sigh*
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be a fool. The reason is simple--I suck at it. No, really, I do. Something hit me this Sunday, and as much as it saddened me to realize it, I think it was necessary. When I was walking around with the eyepatch on my eye, being a Foolie pretending to be a pirate, I realized that I made a greater impact and got to more people just by crooking my finger and saying "Arrrrrr!" than I ever did by trying to be Foolish. I realized that my stage fright has kept me from interacting as much as I should, and no matter what I do, I will always have that fright there. What it boils down to is that I made a much better pirate than a foolie, and hell, I think I'd make a much better *anything* than a foolie. Now, this is going to come out very very wrong, but I can think of no other way to put it, so that's how it's going to come out:
I only joined the Fool's guild because they were the only guild that'd take a fifteen-year-old.
Now don't get me wrong, I love the Foolies, I really do. Everyone in there is sweet and fun and friendly and we all really are a great big family, but I've really only been a fool these past few years because every other guild makes the "Oooohhhhh, I *dunno*," face when you say "Hey, I want to be in your guild and I'm under 18!", and even then, when I did that with Megan, it still took a lengthy conversation with my mom for her to finally say "Okay, we'll let you in." And now, after three years of working at being funny, I've been very unsuccessful. I really do love the Fools, I really do, really really, but I just feel like I'm dragging down everyone else who is actually good at what they do and brings some genuine foolish talent to the table. So I'm thinking I won't be a fool next year. Yeah. Go ahead and start hating me now.
