I. Cannot. Believe. It.

I must be some kind of masochist in the worst possible way. How, you ask?

I went to www.exwitch.com , that's how.

The feeling I get in my chest from looking at that site is a lot like the feeling I got from that damn speaker at that free concert I went to with Kitty-Cat and her mom. I want to go on their forums, yell "PAGAN AND PROUD YOU BITCHES!!!!", post my story of how I fell from their beloved God's grasp, and how I've never been happier than I am with the Goddess and the God, and then vanish. Buuuut, I won't. I'm not even going to bother with that damn site again. EVER. I can't believe.... it just drives me nuts. It absolutely drives me nuts. I was never this happy when I was a good little Roman Catholic Girl, brainwashed into loving this "One True God". I had to go through a lot of pain, but dammit, I'm happy now. I really am. For crying out loud, I was using magic before I even knew what magic truly was! I was summoning spirits, channelling dieties, and calling storms and controlling the wind EVEN WHEN I WAS "CATHOLIC"!!!! I was *meant* for this!!! That anyone can sit on their high fucking horse and say that their way is the one true way, that everyone else is going to hell if they don't believe in the "one true way", and truly believe that they are in the right, absolutely blows my mind. I'm not trying to say that *I* think I know the "one true way"; absolutely not. I try not to be a hypocrite. I'm saying that everyone has their own way that's right for them. At least, that's what I think. Those idiots at exwitch.com, who sit there and spout how they found "God" again, were more than likely meant to remain monotheist in the first place. Their souls were content with being monotheistic. However, some souls have that natural capacity for things that monotheists tend to denouce as "evil" or "the devil's work", so those souls tend to gravitate towards a more accepting enviroment. (Of course, monotheists tend to be major hypocrites when it comes to Abilities; sometimes it's "evil" or "just your imagination" or even "the devil making you think you can do that", while at other times it's a "gift from God".) Some souls feel much more comfortable with the "you're born, you live, you die, get over it," and thus gravitate towards athiesim and other such beliefs. In my group of friends alone, we have a Catholic, an agnostic, a Buddhist, two Pagans, and a scientologist. We're all comfortable with our beliefs and ourselves, and never try to force our beliefs on the others. Proof positive that contrasting beliefs can co-exist. And yet, I find sites like ex-fucking-witch.com. Uuuuuugh! It just drives me NUTS!!!! *hatehatehate**temporary, anyway*

In other news, I saw "Kung Fu Hustle" today (with the Catholic and the Agnostic). ^_^ Great movie.

Ciao for now (*grumbles some*)
~Chii-chan

Okay, so you know how things have been generally kinda blah/not-really-cool-like? Well guess what? THAT ALL CHANGED TODAY!!!!! XD

So after I finish up with my OFY summer school stuff, Mom and I went to the Montclair Plaza to get some clothes for my upcoming senior portraits. We get some food because we're both frikkin' starving, and when we finish, we head for the nearest escalators to head down to Hot Topic, if for nothing else, than ideas for my clothes. We're about to get on the down escalator when a mom and her daughter pass us on the up escalator. My mom looks at them and points them out to me: "Wow, that looks like your Aunt Pat!" I turn and look, and sure enough, the woman my mom's looking at looks a helluvalot like my Aunt Pat, and I can see some semblance of my dear cousin Michelle next to her. They're standing next to a trash can, and then they turn around and look at us. Sure enough, IT WAS THEM!!!! Now, this is *only* the best goddamn thing to ever happen to me in years and years, because Michelle is only 3 months younger than me. We grew up together, and we're pretty much best friends. Well, we *were* until I had my falling-out with Paul, and since he is one of my grandmother's "generals" (my grandmother is the root of all evil in the matriarchal McMahons, and my *cough* Father and my *cough* Aunt Jeanette are her generals), he and Grandma made it so that my brother and I were cut off from that part of the family. So I got to see them today! It was wonderful. Michelle and I caught up some, and she gave me her house number (as she doesn't have a cell phone yet), and we all agreed to get together sometime, especially considering that Aunt Pat said (and I quote) "Oh, I don't care what *that* side of the family thinks!" ^_^ Gods, this is one of the single best things to ever happen to me. I can't express how happy I am at all, all I can say is that I *am* happy and it's the purest, biggest, best feeling of happy I've ever had. ^_^ I love it.

Well, that's all!
Ciao for now,
~Chii-chan