You must be fucking kidding me. Oh. My. Gods. You must be shitting me.
My brother is a car's worst nightmare. His Bug (which, granted, is a '78 or a '79, whichever was supposed to be the worst year for bugs) is a "piece of shit" car, by his standards, because he drives every vehicle he has like it's a brand fucking new stock car, just *begging* to go 90 + at all times (in other words, like a teenage boy). The '97 Geo Prism that my mom's been driving up until a few months ago has never given my mother any major problems. For 8 years she's nursed that little car, and it was a happy happy car when she drove it. Now, it's one of the saddest little things....it's so abused. Sooooo abused. I genuinely feel sorry for that car. I mean.... other people may think Pagans are nuts for saying that we should respect and love the inanimate objects that do things for us, like our cars and computers and whatnot, and may think that we're dumbasses for saying that such objects have "feelings", per se, but dammit, I don't think anyone could look at that poor Geo, unwashed, missing the passenger side-veiw mirror, already having been in the shop with about $1,000.00 worth of damage, and now suffering with a six-inch-long, quarter-inch-wide crack in the radiator, and say that it isn't a sad, beaten, unhappy little vehicle. Mike's abused it to hell. It's gonna be driven into the ground, just die out, and he's not getting another, Mom's already made that perfectly clear. And he sure as hell AIN'T GETTING THAT FORD CONTOUR!!!! It may be the ugliest color in the world, but the fact that he'll be driving that for a few days is bad enough. That's gonna be MY car!! He is NOT driving it for more than a week, and gods only know what kind of damage he'll inflict on it in that time. The fucker.
So that is on top of one of the weirdest days of my life. Okay, well, maybe not *weird*, but definitely off. I wake up, and I'm tired. Okay, whatever. This is what's strange, though....I got more sleep than I usually do, but I've been tired all day. Mikey said that I got "too much sleep", because that's what it does to people. I told him that there's no such thing as "too much sleep". 'Cause, you know, I'm a sleeping fiend and all. So I went to Options, did some work ('cause I had nothing to test on), went to UHS, realized (thankfully, very early on) that I'm like Super PMS-y, so I managed to avoid people/not talk to people....though Sean is seriously the most un-empathic person I've ever met.....anyway. I went to Chiang's class, and we read "Henry V", and I'm playing Henry. That's cool, but Henry, being a king, makes a lot of speeches....which I'm normally okay with, but today, I was so out of it, at one point in one of the speeches, I actually sat there, listening to myself read the lines, and thought, 'Woah....is that really my voice? Wow......how weird.....' I managed to snap back into normal mode before I froze in the middle of class. That would've been weird.
Anyway, I took a nap in the shade outside of the school once Chiang's class was up, got some RPs to Kiwi and Fiona, then met with Mikey and Aaron. I busted out the Monsters book I had brought along to loan to Mikey, reading a very interesting section that I'd never really gotten to before (and it's a wonder why I hadn't, because frankly, I found it to be much more interesting than the rest of the book; not that the content of the book isn't really that interesting, but there was kinda a story that still presented and supported facts about 'Haggings' as they relate to SUNDS..... anyway, I digress), and this kid comes walking by. Now, I say 'kid' because he looked like a Freshman, maybe a young Sophomore. I think his name was Matt. Anyway, he came walking by and asked the wrong question, which was, "Hey, what's that?" My reply, of course, was, "A book." He looked at the cover, I think maybe snuck a look at the pages, and asked, "Is it in the library?" "Nope," I replied. "Is it in the Upland Public Library?" "Nope," I replied again. Then he started off, and was even running a bit up the street. I stood and called to him. "Hey, kid!" He stopped and turned around. I told him where I had gotten the book (Crystal Cave in Claremont), recommended a few books (anything by Scott Cunningham (Gods rest his soul), some Silver Ravenwolf stuff), we introduced ourselves, and that was that.
I felt minor crampingness throughout the day, which is a rather bad thing, because it might mean that I'll have bad cramps the day I start. I really don't want to have problems again. I mean, a part of me does, because if they persist, then I might have endo, which means I'll eventually be sterile, and I can get a hysterectomy and just get all that shit ripped out of me (which is what I've wanted for a year or so now). On the other hand, there's that part of me that wants to maybe have at least one child of my own, and if I have endo (or any illness that will eventually cause me to be sterile), then I don't know *when* the full effects will go, so I don't know when I'd need to have the child or any of that. I mean, I joke with my friends now and again about possibly having endometriosis, and how I'll be able to just "get that sucker ripped out", but I really do worry about my body, especially when it comes to that area. My auntie, my mom, and my cousin all have had really bad problems, and Jac's probably going to need a hysterectomy by her late 30's as well. Hell, her ovaries were covered with sists by 16! I do *not* have a good family history to look at when it comes to this shit, and it really, seriously worries me. Frankly, I'm afraid. If I keep having minor cramps before I'm bleeding, and if I start having cramps that will leave me bedridden again, I don't know what I'll do. I'm seriously afraid of having a disease there. Yeah, I'm scared. ...I just want to be held and told everything'll be okay. ........Gods, I'm identifying with Willam.
Scary.
My brother is a car's worst nightmare. His Bug (which, granted, is a '78 or a '79, whichever was supposed to be the worst year for bugs) is a "piece of shit" car, by his standards, because he drives every vehicle he has like it's a brand fucking new stock car, just *begging* to go 90 + at all times (in other words, like a teenage boy). The '97 Geo Prism that my mom's been driving up until a few months ago has never given my mother any major problems. For 8 years she's nursed that little car, and it was a happy happy car when she drove it. Now, it's one of the saddest little things....it's so abused. Sooooo abused. I genuinely feel sorry for that car. I mean.... other people may think Pagans are nuts for saying that we should respect and love the inanimate objects that do things for us, like our cars and computers and whatnot, and may think that we're dumbasses for saying that such objects have "feelings", per se, but dammit, I don't think anyone could look at that poor Geo, unwashed, missing the passenger side-veiw mirror, already having been in the shop with about $1,000.00 worth of damage, and now suffering with a six-inch-long, quarter-inch-wide crack in the radiator, and say that it isn't a sad, beaten, unhappy little vehicle. Mike's abused it to hell. It's gonna be driven into the ground, just die out, and he's not getting another, Mom's already made that perfectly clear. And he sure as hell AIN'T GETTING THAT FORD CONTOUR!!!! It may be the ugliest color in the world, but the fact that he'll be driving that for a few days is bad enough. That's gonna be MY car!! He is NOT driving it for more than a week, and gods only know what kind of damage he'll inflict on it in that time. The fucker.
So that is on top of one of the weirdest days of my life. Okay, well, maybe not *weird*, but definitely off. I wake up, and I'm tired. Okay, whatever. This is what's strange, though....I got more sleep than I usually do, but I've been tired all day. Mikey said that I got "too much sleep", because that's what it does to people. I told him that there's no such thing as "too much sleep". 'Cause, you know, I'm a sleeping fiend and all. So I went to Options, did some work ('cause I had nothing to test on), went to UHS, realized (thankfully, very early on) that I'm like Super PMS-y, so I managed to avoid people/not talk to people....though Sean is seriously the most un-empathic person I've ever met.....anyway. I went to Chiang's class, and we read "Henry V", and I'm playing Henry. That's cool, but Henry, being a king, makes a lot of speeches....which I'm normally okay with, but today, I was so out of it, at one point in one of the speeches, I actually sat there, listening to myself read the lines, and thought, 'Woah....is that really my voice? Wow......how weird.....' I managed to snap back into normal mode before I froze in the middle of class. That would've been weird.
Anyway, I took a nap in the shade outside of the school once Chiang's class was up, got some RPs to Kiwi and Fiona, then met with Mikey and Aaron. I busted out the Monsters book I had brought along to loan to Mikey, reading a very interesting section that I'd never really gotten to before (and it's a wonder why I hadn't, because frankly, I found it to be much more interesting than the rest of the book; not that the content of the book isn't really that interesting, but there was kinda a story that still presented and supported facts about 'Haggings' as they relate to SUNDS..... anyway, I digress), and this kid comes walking by. Now, I say 'kid' because he looked like a Freshman, maybe a young Sophomore. I think his name was Matt. Anyway, he came walking by and asked the wrong question, which was, "Hey, what's that?" My reply, of course, was, "A book." He looked at the cover, I think maybe snuck a look at the pages, and asked, "Is it in the library?" "Nope," I replied. "Is it in the Upland Public Library?" "Nope," I replied again. Then he started off, and was even running a bit up the street. I stood and called to him. "Hey, kid!" He stopped and turned around. I told him where I had gotten the book (Crystal Cave in Claremont), recommended a few books (anything by Scott Cunningham (Gods rest his soul), some Silver Ravenwolf stuff), we introduced ourselves, and that was that.
I felt minor crampingness throughout the day, which is a rather bad thing, because it might mean that I'll have bad cramps the day I start. I really don't want to have problems again. I mean, a part of me does, because if they persist, then I might have endo, which means I'll eventually be sterile, and I can get a hysterectomy and just get all that shit ripped out of me (which is what I've wanted for a year or so now). On the other hand, there's that part of me that wants to maybe have at least one child of my own, and if I have endo (or any illness that will eventually cause me to be sterile), then I don't know *when* the full effects will go, so I don't know when I'd need to have the child or any of that. I mean, I joke with my friends now and again about possibly having endometriosis, and how I'll be able to just "get that sucker ripped out", but I really do worry about my body, especially when it comes to that area. My auntie, my mom, and my cousin all have had really bad problems, and Jac's probably going to need a hysterectomy by her late 30's as well. Hell, her ovaries were covered with sists by 16! I do *not* have a good family history to look at when it comes to this shit, and it really, seriously worries me. Frankly, I'm afraid. If I keep having minor cramps before I'm bleeding, and if I start having cramps that will leave me bedridden again, I don't know what I'll do. I'm seriously afraid of having a disease there. Yeah, I'm scared. ...I just want to be held and told everything'll be okay. ........Gods, I'm identifying with Willam.
Scary.
