""A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.... You're not pretty you're beautiful. I dont want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldnt cry if you walked away...I'd die...""

Kitty-Cat had that in her blog. I thought it was really sweet. Guess I'm still a hopeless romantic.

Lessee, I got banned from Anime Club for two meetings because I was PMS-y and exploded on the club and told them to shut up so that we could get through announcements and that I was in a really bad mood and it would just have been best for them to shut up. I hear a stupid freshman (who, according to everyone I've spoken to, NOBODY likes) mock me when everything gets quiet.... and.... I..... kinda threaten to tear his throat out if he doesn't shut his face..... *sweatdrop* So someone wrote a complaint letter to Mykal, the prezzie (who I'm also kinda annoyed at, but it's nothing I can change (and nothing he would change for shit anyway)), and he informed me that I'm suspended for two Anime Club meetings. Which is good, because I'm really getting sick of the club. At this point, I know that if I keep going there, I'm just going to become more and more of a ticking time bomb, so I think I'm going to be quitting at least my postition as Publicity Officer before too long. Then the fucking idiots who can't shut their damn mouths for not even five minutes so we can get through announcements in a quick and orderly fashion won't be anywhere near my responsibility to shut up. Call it greedy of me to leave it to Mykal and Asian Crystal and Jaymes and Aaron and Yami and all them, but I'm really fucking sick of it all. I can't stand it. With each passing week, I hate humanity even more than I ever thought possible, and it's stemming from something I'm supposed to love. And I DO love anime, I just have NO love at all for the loud-ass fucks in the club devoted to it. Anyway, I was leading up to a point, but I forgot it. Oh well.

So this guy, Noah, asked me out on Halloween. I told him that I didn't know, that I had just broken up with my previous b/f the day before. Today, I finally told him that I'd love to get to know him and then decide if I wanted to go out with him, but what I didn't tell him is that I'm still in love with my ex, and I take a long long long time to recover (emotionally, of course) from people I'm in love with/was in love with. Besides, if I'm not mistaken, my ex is still interested in me as well (??? maybe), and I really really really don't want to pass up the chance that we might get back together until I'm certain he's not interested in me like that anymore.

So, Mikey is interested in one of my buddies. I won't say who here, but he posted something in one of his entries that made it screamingly obvious. I just find it interesting.

I've found myself changing, and for the worse, I fear. I've given myself the official title of "Anime Club Bitch" or "Disgruntled Female", to save everyone else in the club the time and energy it would take, and I fear I'm becoming clingy--suffocatingly so. I mean, I HATE overly clingy people, and now I feel like I'm becoming that way. I mean, I would ask people, but I'm sure that they'd just say, "No, you're not becoming clingy," just the way they said I wasn't becoming a bitch in Anime Club, either. But I know I'm a bitch in Anime Club, so I'm pretty sure that I'm becoming clingy, too, but I don't know if I can be really certain. Mykal has been getting really annoying to me, and now I wonder if he still considers me a friend or just "part of the package" of all our other, now-mutual friends; Mikey and I are at a strange kind of odds now, which I really don't like, because I hate losing friends; I never hang out with anyone, and nobody seems to want to hang out with me, except for Victoria, and I know that can't last for much longer; Sarah's upset with me, and I think I know why, but I can't be sure of that, either, not until she decides she wants to talk to me again...... *sigh* I feel like my life's falling apart, and it's all my fault. Thing is, I don't know how I can fix any of it. I can fix my school problems more easily than I can fix my friend problems. But...... *sigh* Consider this an official cry for help. If I have any flaws--too bitchy, too clingy, too moocher-ish, too anything that might be negative in even the slightest way, TELL ME, because I don't want to keep pissing people off and I don't want to push people away and I just don't want to lose the life that I have right now because it's all I have and I like it how it is!!!!

*sighs heavily* Well, I need to log off now. I don't have much time left. Bai.