Blue Dreams

"I've been alive since time began
Not beast, not god, and yet not man
I am the music and the dance
I am the piper who enchants
So loose all ties to mortal kind
My pipes shall play within thy mind
I shall be thy lover"

"Creature of the Wood"

01 July 2005

Mornin' all.....

Well, it's here. AX is running, and I'm not there due to lack of people I knew going this year (and Mykal and Jaymes are working it, so I don't think they'd be much to hang with), and what did I wake up to discover? I'm bleeding. Yep. It's "that time of month" again, which proves my point (though I don't know who the point is to): I will always be on my period at least one day that AX is running. Which means that I will be no fun during at least one day of AX each year I go from this point on. First year was *really* great because I had packed up all my things and toiletries and stuff on the final day, and then I had *nothing* when it struck. Last year, my PMS got really strong on the day before it happened, so I was an evil moody bitch and couldn't figure out why. This year, at least I'm not there to be bitchy and tired from not getting any sleep due to excitement, then sore from starting and possibly cramping either today or tomorrow. At least I know my "patterns" when it comes to the magical time now, at least better than I did last year or the year before (which is strange, because I started when I was in 5th grade, so you'd think I'd have figured out my patterns by Jr. High or so, but whatever). Oh, ode to my bodily functions.... why can't men bleed from their genitals, too? Then they'd know a woman's pain. *laughs evilly* Oh, I'd love that. Wake up one morning to hear my brother complain of cramps, ask me if I have Midol, if he can borrow the heating pad, and call his friends to cancel his plans, telling them that "he's on the rag". Oh, I'd laugh my ass off. I know, it's cruel, but sometimes, you hear about things that guys say to women when they're bleeding or about when they're bleeding, and you just wanna...... like my mom had a male OBGYN a few years ago, and she was having....issues....and he basically told her that it was "all in her head". I decided when I heard that that if *I* ever had a male OB (*if* I ever had a male OB) tell me that, then I'd kick him really really hard in the nuts and tell him to stand up, 'cause the pain's "all in his head". ^_^ I'm such an angel..... Oh well. My room's pretty much clean (especially if you were to compare how it is *now* to how it was this time last week), and I have a story I need to write (along with schoolwork, but I dun wanna do that at the moment..... I still have time. Tomorrow, probably.... when I'm not feeling like shit, whenever that is), so if/when I start feeling really sore from this, then I'll just get comfy in my bed and start writing. And I'll keep some books on-hand for reading when I get tired of writing/when my hand cramps up. Ugh....cramps....don't want to induce those.... Oh well. And Bradleyman and I were supposed to try to get together today, but he was woken at 6 a.m. by his dad, who told him that he needed to stay at home so he could watch the painters and make sure they didn't pull any funny stuff, even though they wouldn't arrive for another five hours, so that's probably not going to happen (which is just as well, I suppose; I would've started cramping if he'd been able to come down, I bet). So probably this weekend, if we can swing it, probably Monday or Tuesday, though. I have to kinda act as a babysitter for Kyle; protect him from Josh, be his buddy for the weekend, 'cause he and I get along.......which will be difficult from the bleeding from my genitals thing. *sigh* Man.... I think I'm gonna retire to my room for a bit....just flop in my bed, stare at the ceiling, write a bit, maybe draw....and count down the days until I turn 17. 9 more days, not counting today. Kinda freaky. I mean, in 9 more days, I'm going to be..... in my late teens. How strange. In 374 days, I will be....legal...... it's weird. Very weird.

Ack...soreness.... owwies..... my pooor muscles.....

I think I'll retire to my room now. If I'm feeling less sore later, I'll grab Kyle and have him join me as I try to take Katie for a walk.

Well, ciao for now
~Chii-chan

30 June 2005

Hello.....

Yeah, I'm tired. And not much's been happening, but I wanted to post in here so people would know that I'm not dead. Yeah...Brad made me think of my blog when we talked this morning, 'cause he mentioned it. *twitchtwitch* Yeah.... shit happening. Not fun. Not happy. Mom's trying to make me into a workaholic, and I HATE workaholics. It blows my mind that she seems to think that I am capable of getting my room completely frikkin' spotless while still finishing my daily chores and general upkeep of the house *while* going out and finding a goddamn job, when the only jobs in walking distance are coffeehouses, fast-food places, and grocery stores. At least she's not coming home and saying "So where are those applications I'm sure you gathered?" *sigh* Uhmm.... I'm active in Neara, an Avidgamers Roleplaying site I joined a few years ago, and my evil bitch character on that site has found love....but since she's gone through life completely hating men, she's not aware that it's love yet. XD She just passed out from hyperventilating 'cause the guy she's with just told her that he loves her. Hehehe... and in Lunaria.....well....it's going slowly, 'cause Kiwi doesn't get on as much, but my character there has met Kiwi's man-whore character....it's fun. Well, I suppose "interesting"s more the word.

In regards to the Brad thing.... ('cause I can't get it out of my head), I am now suspicious of things. And not a good suspicious, either. It's bad....questions will be asked, problems could possibly arise, and I don't want them to..... I just wish things were simpler. And it's my fault.... just read the long, bitchy blog below. It's my fault. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Well, that's it for now. Need to finish my room and possibly shower.

Night ('cause mornings are evil)
~Chii-chan
)O(