Okay.... yeah. Lessee, what did I want to post...? Oh, yeah. Yesterday, my empathy got a damn good workout, and I HATED IT WITH A PASSION! Why? Well, let me tell you.
There's this girl (a black girl) named Brittany. She. Is. Evil. Not "evil incarnate" evil, but Evil anyway. She snapped at Yamiko when Yami just asked her to not step on some of her stuff or something reasonable like that. Anywhoo. Yamiko and I are less than fond of this girl, and yesterday, after our class's five minute break (the class is two hours long, so our teacher gives us a break in between "morning lesson" and the rest of the day), she sat down behind me, and boy was she PISSED! Now, bear in mind--when I first became an "official" Pagan, and I created my psychic temple, my back became a very receptive spot to energies and whatnot. VERY receptive. Receptive to the point that if you touch it when I just have one or two layers of clothes on (the second layer being thin), the skin on my back dances and my mood goes from "Happy Happy Joy Joy" to "WHO THE FUCK IS TRYING TO KILL ME YOU DIRTY BASTARDS?!?!", and now that my energy has manifested as empathy....well.... It wasn't a good spot for this evil girl to sit. Now then. Mr. Chavez was annoyed with the class, and lecturing us about respect and stuff (but he's a good lecturer, so it was rather interesting, even though he was mad), and it was pissing this girl off. I was getting tremors down my body every minute or so. Then, Mr. Chavez stopped the lecture for a while, and everyone got to the busywork of the day, and while she was working, her energy did nothing at all. It prickled a little, but nothing major. When Mr. Chavez started to lecture again, her energy went right back up, and I got those chills all over again. Fun? No.
And people wonder why I wish I wan't empathatic.
Now, another thing.... Dan, that guy who I thought had liked me and said he did but then turned out to want to work his shit out so he could date my friend again, called me yesterday and asked me out. I said we could go to a movie on Friday, so we're going to go see that new King Arthur one. I think it's called Camelot or something like that. Anyway, here's the issue--I don't know if Cat's okay with it (if she isn't, then the three of us are talking), but the bigger one is is how I feel when I talk to Dan. I'm not sure why (and maybe it's because I feel like he led me on and whatnot, so I'm not sure if I could trust him or anything), but whenever I speak with him, it feels like there's a rock at the bottom of my stomach, and I don't feel very well. Some might chalk it up to nervous butterflies, but I don't think that's it. I know how I feel when I'm nervous, and that's not nervous--that's a "there's something not quite right" kind of feeling, mixed with an "oh my god an older guy in college is acting interested in me what on Earth am I gonna do when we go out" feeling. Why can't it just go back to Faire issues? At least there, I could just say, "Hey, I'm not even legal," and still think, "Damn, that guy's hot" or something. I mean, believe it or not, things are much simpler there romantically for the underage. Now, Faire is through, and the high school romantic life I had thought I'd be able to avoid through some lucky miracle is jumping up to bite me in the ass. I mean, if it could just have gone back to that last weekend when Brad kissed me it would all be simpler (another 'believe it or not' statement) than it is now! Ugh! But...anyway, I *do* have a date on Friday, so I guess I'll just go with it. *is a little excited deep down, purely because this is the guy who said that I intrigued him because he couldn't figure out why he was attracted to me*
And I tried to save a crow on Monday. It's a very sad story, and tonight (I've been saying this for two days, but tonight I will, I swear!) I'm going to meditate and make sure he made it safely and peacefully to the afterlife. It makes me sad just thinking about the poor bird, and I really hope I had made his final hours a little more comfortable and I hope that he possibly even felt some degree of love or care from myself and my mom, who helped out when she got home. I've decided to extend my "I'll help out any stray cat I see to make sure they're okay and to make Bast happy" statement to "I'm going to help any animal that needs my help as best I can because I'd feel wrong if I didn't". And that's also because I have owl energies, apparently, so I feel a little connected to the world of winged animals.
Well, that's all for now. Ciao!
Much love,
Christyna
)O(
